Simply A Night Owl

Can I just say that I am a little scared?

You have seen me come in here and write of some of my experiences and some of my feelings; especially involving the institutional church.  Well one of the things that has been holding me back from really cutting loose is that I still attend sometimes even when (1) I am not fed and (2) I don’t even want to go.   The fellowship is what worries me the most; or perhaps I should say the loss of it.  I have a great fellowship with the folks even though I don’t agree with most of them, most of the time.   What makes matters worse is that I am going to be stepping on some toes and some of those toes are attached to eyes that come and read here quite often.  I have been somewhat controversial in my approach at my church but I don’t believe that I have ever told anyone what I’m about to vent here.  I sometimes wonder if maybe I should.

I have been praying on this matter for some time and the answers don’t seem to be coming to me.  I guess that there is a lot I want to say about institutional church in general but at the same time, I know that there are going to be some hurt feelings.  That’s a hard pill for me to swallow because although I sometimes put out this tough guy vibe, there are some things in this life that I really do care about.

So I ask myself: do I alienate those closest to me in what may be nothing more than an exercise in venting my frustrations?  I know this much, they have to be vented or they will find an outlet.  I also was reminded this past weekend about why I cannot vent them there at my church.  (Post forthcoming) So I guess it’s going to be up to you, my readers, to live with me during and help guide me through this process that I must experience.   I’m counting on you to listen, comment, discuss, cry, laugh, cuss and experience this metamorphosis with me in its fullest.   It is not going to be easy for me but I know that I can count on all of you to listen with an ear of understanding.  I have also come to know that if I’m full of shit, you’ll tell me; and that gift is so very important.

So let me pour some champagne over the bow for luck.  We can all take a swig and toast to the sailors of old and to the sea; for we are about to leave port and embark on a glorious journey.

I know it’s safe here on the shore
But freedom is worth dying for
Liberation comes to those
Who hear the truth and sail with you
I’ll go where you are calling me
I’ll be what you meant me to be
I know the risk is real, but I wanna feel
The freedom of the sea

Phillips, Craig and Dean ~ Freedom of the Sea

He everyone. I know that I have been kind of slack lately but here in the next few weeks, I promise that I will be adding some content that actually requires thought on my part. Sorry for the frivolity.

Rahab’s Kitchen and Chronicles of Che have been added to the sidebar.  I have also elected to keep this template for now due to its simplicity being just what the doctor ordered.  Now if I could just figure out how to do that with my life.

Women are like apples on trees.  The best ones are at the top of the tree.  Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.  Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren’t as good, but they are very easy.  The apples at the top think that something is wrong with them when in reality, they are amazing.  They just have to wait for the right man to come along; the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men…men are like fine wine.  They begin as grapes and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

The “Sweet Prophet” puts his tot skills on display at the Utah State Fair

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “cumin” or “tofu.” For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator instead.

Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie.  Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t; and if you are feeling amorous afterward, then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass look fat.  It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine.  You look fine.   Can we just go now?

Because I’m a man, and this is after all, the year 2008, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

Although I haven’t been specifically tagged, I decided to go ahead and participate in the first “after summer” meme.  I think that this is a great way to kick off the heavy blogging season!  I saw this meme over at Happy’s place and also at Sara’s place.

So without further ado, here are my three things…times five. 

3 Joys
Kicking back on a sand beach at the Pacific Coast at sunset
Seeing the big smile on my son’s face when I get home from work
A Cyrus O’Leary Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

3 Fears
Black Widows (I was going to link a picture but DANG!, I got the willies)  HT to Tyler for the word DANG.  It was so appropriate.
Dying a slow and painful death
Not being a good enough dad

3 Goals
Complete a HALO Jump from 30,000 feet
Base Jump with a wing suit (Awesome Video)
Shoot a par round of golf before I retire

3 Current Obsessions
The Internet
Getting the garage and the yard ready for winter
Getting the Christmas lights up outside before it snows

3 Random and/or Surprising Facts
I have bought tools because they look good on my pegboard
I really don’t like being a cop
I once got drunk and mooned a tower guard in East Berlin

I’m not going to tag anyone. If you feel like participating, feel free. Link your post here and over at Happy’s or Sara’s.

The “Sweet Prophet” goes on a thrill ride at the Utah State Fair

I didn’t want anyone to think that I was not an equal opportunity “employer”.

Well..since my little sister had to come in her and yuck it up, I’ll let you on the “real deal”. Yep. You guessed it. It’s not really me…sort of!